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Hmmm. How can I properly express to you the beatdown of the Spurs’ 114-83 win over the Jazz?

Imagine a Hummer driving over a camel. Or Godzilla stepping on a power transformer, only with fewer fireworks. It was kind of like a train running over a cart of moldy peaches. Or a buzzsaw ripping through wet newspaper.

There were signs that the Spurs were this much better than the Jazz in Game 1. But Utah had managed to hang for much of the game. Nothing doing in this one. The Spurs came out and dominated from the very get go. There was a 20-0 run to spark the Spurs, and that was pretty much it. They were faster to the ball, faster to the rim, faster to closer out, faster to rebound, faster to drive, faster to shoot… you get the idea.

It’s back to the drawing board for Utah, trying to figure out how to slow down, distract, momentarily get in the way of Tony Parker, how to impact the wings (Kawhi Leonard lit them up. Leonard’s really good but wing was supposed to be a marginal strength for Utah. That’s bad.), how to do, really anything against San Antonio.

The good news for Utah? They’re going home where they play well. That’s about it. Because all signs point to the Spurs having all the answers at this point. Utah needs to throw out the drawing board and start sketching something new on the wall. The Spurs? Revel in their matchup and the fact they’ll likely be getting rest for the second round.

The Spurs are in control, to say the least.

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Oklahoma City’s Nick Collison is blogging for GQ and decided to take on your questions via twitter and answer them online.

He gets the questions you’d expect — what’s the best part of being in the NBA (camaraderie in the locker room) and the worst (being away from family)? How do you deal with the down time waiting for games (lots of television series streaming)?

But the best part of taking twitter questions — whether mine for PBT Extra or these — are the questions out of left field. Like this one:

Which Thunder players could survive a zombie apocalypse?

I think most of us would. We are used to running and pushing through fatigue. We are used to being in stressful situations together, and we have each others’ backs. Sadly, however, I think we would lose a couple guys. Take, for instance, Reggie Jackson, our rookie, who cannot seem to stay awake for any extended period of time and passes out on all flights within five minutes… I fear Reggie would doze off somewhere and the zombies would get to him. I think Kendrick Perkins would be OK at first, but eventually he would look at a zombie and not like the way the zombie was looking at him. If you know Perk the way I know Perk, you know he wouldn’t be able to resist getting face to face with the zombie and letting him know he doesn’t play. He could fight off a few of the zombies, but eventually there would be too many, and I’m worried he wouldn’t make it. Meanwhile, James Harden would definitely survive, because a zombie is not going to want to get any of that beard in his throat while trying to eat his brain.

Would the zombies even want to eat Kevin Durant? There’s no meat on those bones.

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Glen Davis was one of the few Magic players who showed up on Wednesday night, making some plays and putting up 18 points.

And, showing off some high-stepping dance moves.

In Game 4, some of his Magic teammates are going to need to show off their dance moves or Orlando will have time to take the family to Disneyworld soon.

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Kyrie Irving is the run-away Rookie of the Year. There were points where we thought Ricky Rubio could be in the conversations, but really from the start Irving showed up ready and with more skill than we got to see during his injured college career. This turned out to be a great No. 1 pick by the Cavaliers.

Here is a look at his top 10 plays of this season.

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It wasn’t pretty, but the Memphis Grizzlies were able to bounce back from their heartbreaking Game 1 defeat and even up their 1st-round series with the Los Angeles Clippers before the series goes back to Los Angeles.

Chris Paul was the best player on the floor on Wednesday night, as he was able to record 29 points on 17 shots, six assists, and five steals, but his efforts were for naught against the Grizzlies, who got contributions from a huge number of players and handily won the possession battle.

During the regular season, the Clippers had the 2nd-best turnover rate in the league and 6th-best rebound rate in the league, but they lost on Wednesday night because they were unable to hold onto the ball or haul in rebounds. The Clippers allowed 23 points off turnovers on Wednesday, and only managed four offensive rebounds to Memphis’ 16. That led to Memphis getting eight more field goal attempts and 21 more free throw attempts than the Clippers, who lost despite shooting 57% from the field and 56% from beyond the arc.

Even though the Clippers managed to steal home-court advantage with an incredible comeback, they’ll be coming back to Los Angeles with a lot to worry about. The team isn’t getting balanced contributions, and would have been on the wrong end of two blowouts if the Grizzlies didn’t take their foot off the gas pedal in Game 1 or Chris Paul hadn’t been absolutely on fire in Game 2. Home-court is important, but right now the Grizzlies look bigger, deeper, tougher, and hungrier than the Clippers do, and those are things the Clippers will need to address if they want to make it out of the first round.

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Jessica Camerato, who writes about the Celtics for CSNNE.com — and who you should be following on twitter @jcameratonba — called in to the PBT Studio BatPhone and broke down Celtics vs. Hawks in the first round. (Yes, we have a BatPhone, you got a problem with that?)

She discusses the Celtics health (really, the lack of it) and how Josh Smith and Rajon Rondo are good friends. We break the series down, and I’ll just say I might feel differently if Al Horford were playing but without him I think the Celtics win in five or six games.

Thanks to Jessica for stopping by, we will have her back in the future.

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The Indiana Pacers and Orlando Magic have played 12 quarters in this series. The first six the Magic seemed to control.

But the last six have been all Pacers, which is what we expected. They are the longer, deeper, more talented team, and it showed Wednesday night. Danny Granger showed up looking like an All-Star with 26 points on 16 shots. Roy Hibbert dominated the paint defensively in the third quarter. The Pacers owned Game 3, winning 97-74, and now are up two games to one in the best of seven series.

Orlando is going to have to find a way to change a lot of things — or just get red hot shooting — because this series feels like it is on its way to a quick end. Which is what we expected even if it didn’t feel like it after Game 1.

Indiana jumped out to a 23-14 lead in the first quarter but to the Magic’s credit they keep it in single digits early and were down just six at the half. Glen Davis played well and had 22 points.

Then the Pacers owned the third quarter — 32-17 — due to good shooting and Hibbert’s defense (he also had 18 points). The game was all but over. Plus, Orlando is a team that needs the three pointers to fall in bunches to win, and they were just 5-for-15.

If Orlando is going to change anything, it needs to be the energy after halftime — Indiana has won the third quarters in this series 80-43.

Mathematically, this series is not over. But the last six quarters have made it feel like what everyone expected — without Dwight Howard this series is all Pacers.

The Magic need to change that perception (and the third quarter) around in Game 4 or it is all over but the streamers falling from the rafters.

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Season Records:

Oklahoma City (47-19, 2 seed) vs. Dallas (38-28, 7 seed)

Season Series:

OKC 3-1

Offense/Defense Rankings (points per 100 possessions):

Offense: OKC 107.2 (2nd in NBA) vs. DAL 101.1 (20th in NBA)

Defense: OKC 100 (9th in NBA) vs. DAL 98.6 (8th in NBA)

Three Key Thunder:

Kevin Durant: Durant just locked up his 3rd consecutive scoring title, and he did it with a ludicrously high true shooting percentage of 61%. Durant can take the ball to the rim, he can catch and shoot, he can knock down contested jumpers, he can do it all. Basically, if it involves putting a basketball in a hoop, Kevin Durant is really good at it. Durant will likely finish 2nd to LeBron James in MVP voting, but he’s got a great chance to make up for it by winning a championship before LeBron does.

Russell Westbrook: For all the junk Westbrook takes about whether or not he’s a true point guard and how many shots he takes, the Thunder run their offense through the ultra-talented Westbrook, and it’s been working for them, to say the least. When Westbrook can get the Thunder out in the open floor, they become completely unstoppable, and he’s getting better and better at picking his spots and setting up his teammates in half-court situations. The Thunder offense will stagnate when Westbrook tries to take contested jumpers early in the shot clock that he shouldn’t be taking, but there’s no denying that the UCLA product is a true superstar and a main reason the Thunder have been so successful.

James Harden: Harden makes bad basketball plays about as often as he shaves his beard. Harden isn’t the most athletic star in the league, and he took a bit of time to develop, but he’s become a true star and a lock for the 6th Man of the Year Award. Harden has true 3-point range, can slither between defenders and get to the rim, and is a fantastic playmaker to boot. It’s almost unfair that the Thunder have the luxury of bringing him off the bench, because he can pick apart a defense as well as almost any player in the league, starter or non-starter.

Three Key Mavericks:

Dirk Nowitzki: The reigning Finals MVP. What more do I need to say? Dirk finally got the monkey off his back by winning it all last season, but he followed it up with a bit of a down year statistically, as his points per game went down and his FG% was as low as it’s been since his rookie season. Still, Nowitzki can take over a game at any time with his unblockable fadeaways, and the Thunder won’t sleep on him after what he did to them in last year’s Western Conference Finals.

Jason Terry: Terry is a player who can simply light up the scoreboard and take over a game whenever he feels like it. Terry has range out to the parking lot, doesn’t seem to care whether there’s a hand in his face or not, and lives for clutch situations — it takes some serious stones to get a tattoo of the NBA Finals trophy before the Finals begin, and Terry backed it up last season. The Mavericks are coming into this series as underdogs, but I get the feeling that’s how Terry likes it.

Sean Marion: Marion isn’t the two-way force he was in Phoenix, but he’s still capable of doing a ton of things on offense and guarding almost any player on the court. Against the Mavericks, he’ll have the unenviable task of trying to use his length to limit the damage Kevin Durant will do — if he can’t find a way to slow down the Thunder’s offensive attack, it could be a very short series for the defending champs.

Outlook:

Normally, it’s never wise to bet against the defending champs until they’re actually beaten, but Mark Cuban changed the game a little bit when he decided to let Tyson Chandler walk in free agency in the hope of landing Dwight Howard or Deron Williams this off-season. The Mavericks have a lot of experience, and were able to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat against the Thunder in last year’s Western Conference Finals last season, but a more experienced and confident Thunder team should be able to roll through this year’s Mavericks squad without too much trouble.

Prediction:

Thunder in 6.

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The Suns already have a center — Marcin Gortat will get the bulk of the minutes at the five next year.

But that doesn’t mean they are letting Robin Lopez walk.

Suns president Lon Babby was talking with the media on Wednesday and when the topic of restricted free agent Lopez came up, this was said, according to a tweet from Paul Coro of the Arizona Republic.

Babby said it is “quite likely if not certain” that the Suns will match any offer on restricted free agent Robin Lopez.

That doesn’t mean Lopez is unavailable, it means you are going to have to overpay or trade to get him. The latter of those could happen.

But Babby is trying to scare off free agent suitors.

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AP

Maybe you can’t picture Scott Skiles effectively coaching a backcourt of Monta Ellis and Brandon Jennings, but Herb Kohl can.

And he’s the owner. The guy writing the check. So they are going to do it.

Skiles will be back for another season as the Bucks head man, reports the Journal-Sentinel.

Scott Skiles confirmed in a phone interview Tuesday afternoon that he will return as Bucks coach for the 2012-’13 season, the final year of his contract…

Skiles led the Bucks to a 31-35 record during the past season and had discussions with team owner Herb Kohl and general manager John Hammond over the last few days.

Skiles had a year added to his contract (next year) after the Bucks made the playoffs in 2010. However, the Andrew Bogut elbow injury changed the trajectory of the franchise, something they tried to right with the Ellis trade.

Skiles is a defensive minded coach and the Bucks were middle of the pack in league defense last year (16th in points per possession). If Skiles can change that (and gets some help with good offseason moves by Hammond), the Bucks could be a playoff team in the East next year. If not, the headline on a similar post may be very different a year from now.

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